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What is not petty

My gosh where does the time go?  It’s been quite a while since I’ve written in this section and in my mind for good reason.  Like everyone else, life’s trivia can often get in the way of what is truly important.  Or more accurately, the ‘normal’ routine that we all live in can consume our lives and I am certainly not immune to that phenomenon.  Work has occupied my thoughts in a negative way, several outside commitments have taken their toll on my time.  I have not been out shooting in quite some time which for me is an important outlet.  All of these things conspire to put me into a bad mood, one that is counterproductive to my own creative process.

Most importantly my uncle – the very last of the older generation Kitaoka blood is gravely ill.   Harvey has survived cancer three times and at 82, he is again battling that awful disease.  My entire family on my father’s side have succumb to cancer, as did my grandparents.  First my father Nori died in 1976 at the age of 51.  His sister, my aunt Chiz passed away this past summer.  And now uncle Harvey whose physician is just making him comfortable will surrender to cancer.  All of my aunts and uncles have been physically very strong throughout their lives, so to see them weakened by a disease that has knocked on each of their doors is very disturbing to me.

So these days not much seems important to me other than to spend time with those who I love and cherish.   Work seems so very trivial in relation to the important parts of my life.   Friends who have asked me to perform favors and tasks for them have taken a back seat to my ability to hold it all together for those who truly depend on me.  I know that the cycle of life includes death, but even knowing that natural cycle does not help.   At an age in my life where the reality of aging relatives forces me to face the inevitable, I find that my tolerance for life’s truly trivial matters difficult to deal with.

So bantering about film versus digital, work politics, the latest TV reality shows, celebrity gossip, American bashing, the economic outlook, the upcoming election year, blah, blah, blah really means nothing to me.  I simply want to be with and physically close to the ones I love, to share all of the moments we all piece together to call our lives.   Yes, all people need balance in their lives, but right now all that I want is the purity of life’s truth.  And for me right now that truth are those who are close to me.

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